A new Stanford study makes the astounding claim that regular exercise, including running, may improve the health of older adults.  Gee, I just don’t see how that could be possible.  If people at a top school can get research grants for a premise like that, I think I’ll see if I can get funding for some of my more advanced but unproven (and possibly slightly weird) theories:

• Doing one-leg squats blindfolded while driving and texting at the same time increases cardio fitness because the heart is stimulated by stress.
• Drinking skim milk after a 12-donut meal assures that you won’t gain weight.  Some of my relatives believe this, btw.  As a bonus, it tastes awful.
• Exercises performed on the wing of a flying plane are more beneficial due to better scenery and feng shui.