A new Stanford study makes the astounding claim that regular exercise, including running, may improve the health of older adults. Gee, I just don’t see how that could be possible. If people at a top school can get research grants for a premise like that, I think I’ll see if I can get funding for some of my more advanced but unproven (and possibly slightly weird) theories:
- Doing one-leg squats blindfolded while driving and texting at the same time increases cardio fitness because the heart is stimulated by stress.
- Drinking skim milk after a 12-donut meal assures that you won’t gain weight. Some of my relatives believe this, btw. As a bonus, it tastes awful.
- Exercises performed on the wing of a flying plane are more beneficial due to better scenery and feng shui.
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